11 recommendations for posters to this list

[André Warnier <aw...@ice-sa.com>]

Dear Posters,

if you want to get fast, terse, to-the-point answers on this list :

1) start with a subject like "Tomcat does not work"
That always gets immediate attention.  It does not really matter if the
problem is really in Tomcat, or in your application, or in something
else altogether.  If there is a Tomcat on your machine, or if you even
suspect that there might be a Tomcat somewhere in the network, go ahead
and use this subject.

2) write it in CAPITALS, and add a couple of !! exclamation marks on
each side !!  Be creative, the point is to get immediate attention.

3) start the text with "I need help A.S.A.P. !!".  In many email
programs, you can also write this in *bold*, for even greater effect.
Alternatively, permute (1) and (3).

4) Be rude.  Something like "I doubt it, but just in case one of the
highly-paid smartasses on this list would know .." will do fine.

5) mention that this is a Tomcat 3.5 pre-packaged for Ubuntu.
Alternatively, a Tomcat 4 package for Windows, installed by a friend and
running under xy-wrapper will do.  Most effective : you installed
SuperShare 7.2 for Vista, and you read on a forum somewhere that it has
a Tomcat in it.

6) People on this list are like big kids, they love to guess. So
apart from the above, do not add any information such as
operating system, platform, host, versions or anything. Don't mention
that you are using gcj.

7) Just say that it doesn't work. If asked for more details, respond "I
click on my browser and it doesn't work". Don't add silly details about
what doesn't work or when, error messages, logfiles snippets, anything
like that, it just confuses things.  If pressed, insist that on your
system, Tomcat does not write logfiles.

8) mention that you changed the classpath, and that you put <context>
elements in your configuration file (don't say which one, wait to
be asked). Note the lowercase c in <context>.

9) you can mention also that you copied your application
libraries (those .jar file thingies) everywhere you saw other ones, but
that it still doesn't work. Popular locations are tomcat/common/lib,
tomcat/shared/lib, and tomcat/bin. But keep this information for your
second post.

10) Never, ever say please, or thank you.  Instead, ask if someone can
unsubscribe you from this list.

11) Do not sign
Angelica C.
Computer Student
Italy
as that would seriously weaken the effect of all of the above.





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Re: 11 recommendations for posters to this list

[John5342 <jo...@googlemail.com>]

I have printed this off and stuck it to the edge of my monitor so i have a
permanent record of how best to ask questions ;-D

2008/12/2 André Warnier <aw...@ice-sa.com>

> Dear Posters,
>
> if you want to get fast, terse, to-the-point answers on this list :
>
> 1) start with a subject like "Tomcat does not work"
> That always gets immediate attention.  It does not really matter if the
> problem is really in Tomcat, or in your application, or in something
> else altogether.  If there is a Tomcat on your machine, or if you even
> suspect that there might be a Tomcat somewhere in the network, go ahead
> and use this subject.
>
> 2) write it in CAPITALS, and add a couple of !! exclamation marks on
> each side !!  Be creative, the point is to get immediate attention.
>
> 3) start the text with "I need help A.S.A.P. !!".  In many email
> programs, you can also write this in *bold*, for even greater effect.
> Alternatively, permute (1) and (3).
>
> 4) Be rude.  Something like "I doubt it, but just in case one of the
> highly-paid smartasses on this list would know .." will do fine.
>
> 5) mention that this is a Tomcat 3.5 pre-packaged for Ubuntu.
> Alternatively, a Tomcat 4 package for Windows, installed by a friend and
> running under xy-wrapper will do.  Most effective : you installed
> SuperShare 7.2 for Vista, and you read on a forum somewhere that it has
> a Tomcat in it.
>
> 6) People on this list are like big kids, they love to guess. So
> apart from the above, do not add any information such as
> operating system, platform, host, versions or anything. Don't mention
> that you are using gcj.
>
> 7) Just say that it doesn't work. If asked for more details, respond "I
> click on my browser and it doesn't work". Don't add silly details about
> what doesn't work or when, error messages, logfiles snippets, anything
> like that, it just confuses things.  If pressed, insist that on your
> system, Tomcat does not write logfiles.
>
> 8) mention that you changed the classpath, and that you put <context>
> elements in your configuration file (don't say which one, wait to
> be asked). Note the lowercase c in <context>.
>
> 9) you can mention also that you copied your application
> libraries (those .jar file thingies) everywhere you saw other ones, but
> that it still doesn't work. Popular locations are tomcat/common/lib,
> tomcat/shared/lib, and tomcat/bin. But keep this information for your
> second post.
>
> 10) Never, ever say please, or thank you.  Instead, ask if someone can
> unsubscribe you from this list.
>
> 11) Do not sign
> Angelica C.
> Computer Student
> Italy
> as that would seriously weaken the effect of all of the above.
>
>
>
>
>
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> To start a new topic, e-mail: users@tomcat.apache.org
> To unsubscribe, e-mail: users-unsubscribe@tomcat.apache.org
> For additional commands, e-mail: users-help@tomcat.apache.org
>
>

Re: 11 recommendations for posters to this list

[André Warnier <aw...@ice-sa.com>]

Christopher Schultz wrote:
> 
> 13) Post a snide follow-up when someone asks if you've looked for online
> documentation or done a web search for obvious key words.
> 
Well, in truth, you didn't really ask, did you.
And he did say thank you, before wielding the scalpel.
;-)

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Re: 11 recommendations for posters to this list

[Christopher Schultz <ch...@christopherschultz.net>]

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All,

+1

13) Post a snide follow-up when someone asks if you've looked for online
documentation or done a web search for obvious key words.

Brantley Hobbs wrote:
> 12)  Be sure to top post.

!!

- -chris
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Re: 11 recommendations for posters to this list

[Brantley Hobbs <sb...@uga.edu>]

12)  Be sure to top post.


I LOL'd.....

André Warnier wrote:
> Dear Posters,
>
> if you want to get fast, terse, to-the-point answers on this list :
>
> 1) start with a subject like "Tomcat does not work"
> That always gets immediate attention.  It does not really matter if the
> problem is really in Tomcat, or in your application, or in something
> else altogether.  If there is a Tomcat on your machine, or if you even
> suspect that there might be a Tomcat somewhere in the network, go ahead
> and use this subject.
>
> 2) write it in CAPITALS, and add a couple of !! exclamation marks on
> each side !!  Be creative, the point is to get immediate attention.
>
> 3) start the text with "I need help A.S.A.P. !!".  In many email
> programs, you can also write this in *bold*, for even greater effect.
> Alternatively, permute (1) and (3).
>
> 4) Be rude.  Something like "I doubt it, but just in case one of the
> highly-paid smartasses on this list would know .." will do fine.
>
> 5) mention that this is a Tomcat 3.5 pre-packaged for Ubuntu.
> Alternatively, a Tomcat 4 package for Windows, installed by a friend and
> running under xy-wrapper will do.  Most effective : you installed
> SuperShare 7.2 for Vista, and you read on a forum somewhere that it has
> a Tomcat in it.
>
> 6) People on this list are like big kids, they love to guess. So
> apart from the above, do not add any information such as
> operating system, platform, host, versions or anything. Don't mention
> that you are using gcj.
>
> 7) Just say that it doesn't work. If asked for more details, respond "I
> click on my browser and it doesn't work". Don't add silly details about
> what doesn't work or when, error messages, logfiles snippets, anything
> like that, it just confuses things.  If pressed, insist that on your
> system, Tomcat does not write logfiles.
>
> 8) mention that you changed the classpath, and that you put <context>
> elements in your configuration file (don't say which one, wait to
> be asked). Note the lowercase c in <context>.
>
> 9) you can mention also that you copied your application
> libraries (those .jar file thingies) everywhere you saw other ones, but
> that it still doesn't work. Popular locations are tomcat/common/lib,
> tomcat/shared/lib, and tomcat/bin. But keep this information for your
> second post.
>
> 10) Never, ever say please, or thank you.  Instead, ask if someone can
> unsubscribe you from this list.
>
> 11) Do not sign
> Angelica C.
> Computer Student
> Italy
> as that would seriously weaken the effect of all of the above.
>
>
>
>
>
> ---------------------------------------------------------------------
> To start a new topic, e-mail: users@tomcat.apache.org
> To unsubscribe, e-mail: users-unsubscribe@tomcat.apache.org
> For additional commands, e-mail: users-help@tomcat.apache.org
>

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