[jira] Created: (DIR-256) Cosmetic - Grammar on Vision page

["Corey Richard (JIRA)" <di...@incubator.apache.org>]

Cosmetic - Grammar on Vision page
---------------------------------

                 Key: DIR-256
                 URL: https://issues.apache.org/jira/browse/DIR-256
             Project: Directory
          Issue Type: Task
          Components: sitedocs
         Environment: n/a -- web page issue
            Reporter: Corey Richard
            Assignee: Alex Karasulu
            Priority: Trivial


I realize that this will come off as picky, but if it was my page I would want to know.  In hopes of helping the web pages to appear a bit more polished: 

On:
http://directory.apache.org/api/vision.html

1)
"An clear example is the underlying network layer : "

The colon should not have a space before it, and the sentence should start as "A clear example".

2)
"OpenDS will use Grizzly, when we will use MINA."

The second part of the sentence is too clse to "when will we", and it makes the sentence awkward.  It would probably work out better as:

"OpenDS will use Grizzly, while we will use MINA."

(Though, on this point I'm not entirely sure, because the first part of the sentence is in third person and the second part is in first.  This makes it look like two different groups are being talked about.  It's confusing because earlier on the page the term "OpenDS" is talked about as "we".  Just trying to explain it is confusing.)


Again, I don't mean to be picky simply in order to tear anything or anyone down; I just don't want the project to be slighted because of confusion on the web page.


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[jira] Resolved: (DIR-256) Cosmetic - Grammar on Vision page

["Emmanuel Lecharny (JIRA)" <di...@incubator.apache.org>]

     [ https://issues.apache.org/jira/browse/DIR-256?page=com.atlassian.jira.plugin.system.issuetabpanels:all-tabpanel ]

Emmanuel Lecharny resolved DIR-256.
-----------------------------------

    Resolution: Fixed

Fixed.

Thanks for the review... As a non english native speaker, I must admit I took no offense *at all* from your comments. In fact, I really appreciated them :)

> Cosmetic - Grammar on Vision page
> ---------------------------------
>
>                 Key: DIR-256
>                 URL: https://issues.apache.org/jira/browse/DIR-256
>             Project: Directory
>          Issue Type: Task
>          Components: sitedocs
>         Environment: n/a -- web page issue
>            Reporter: Corey Richard
>            Assignee: Alex Karasulu
>            Priority: Trivial
>   Original Estimate: 0.5h
>  Remaining Estimate: 0.5h
>
> I realize that this will come off as picky, but if it was my page I would want to know.  In hopes of helping the web pages to appear a bit more polished: 
> On:
> http://directory.apache.org/api/vision.html
> 1)
> "An clear example is the underlying network layer : "
> The colon should not have a space before it, and the sentence should start as "A clear example".
> 2)
> "OpenDS will use Grizzly, when we will use MINA."
> The second part of the sentence is too clse to "when will we", and it makes the sentence awkward.  It would probably work out better as:
> "OpenDS will use Grizzly, while we will use MINA."
> (Though, on this point I'm not entirely sure, because the first part of the sentence is in third person and the second part is in first.  This makes it look like two different groups are being talked about.  It's confusing because earlier on the page the term "OpenDS" is talked about as "we".  Just trying to explain it is confusing.)
> Again, I don't mean to be picky simply in order to tear anything or anyone down; I just don't want the project to be slighted because of confusion on the web page.

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