[GitHub] [incubator] dave2wave commented on a change in pull request #71: Update roles_and_responsibilities.ad

[GitBox <gi...@apache.org>]

dave2wave commented on a change in pull request #71:
URL: https://github.com/apache/incubator/pull/71#discussion_r548716564



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File path: pages/guides/roles_and_responsibilities.ad
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@@ -7,134 +7,135 @@ Apache Incubator PMC
 :toc:
 :imagesdir: ../images/
 
-This document describes the roles (including Sponsor, Contributor, Mentor) and provides an overview of the responsibilities of the different parties involved in the incubation process.
+This document describes the roles (including Sponsor, Contributor, Mentor) of the parties involved in the incubation process, and provides an overview of their responsibilities.
 
 == The Board
 
 The link:http://www.apache.org/foundation/board/[Board Of Directors] of the link:http://www.apache.org/foundation/[Apache Software Foundation] manages the organizational affairs of the Foundation.
 
-The board is elected by the link:http://www.apache.org/foundation/members.html[Apache Members].
+link:http://www.apache.org/foundation/members.html[Apache Members] elect the Board.
 
-The Board delegates responsibility for incubation to the link:#Incubator+Project+Management+Committee+%28PMC%29[IPMC].
+The Board delegates responsibility for incubation to the link:#Incubator+Project+Management+Committee+%28PMC%29[Incubator Project Management Committee (IPMC)].
 
-link:http://www.apache.org/foundation/board/[Directors] are sometimes active in the Incubator. link:http://www.apache.org/foundation/how-it-works.html#hats[Conventionally], unless indicated otherwise, individuals speak personally. So, a Director speaking without their Board hat is not stating policy but expressing a personal opinion.
+Apache link:http://www.apache.org/foundation/board/[Directors] are sometimes active in the Incubator. link:http://www.apache.org/foundation/how-it-works.html#hats[Conventionally], unless indicated otherwise, individuals speak personally. So, a Director speaking without their Board hat on is not stating policy but expressing a personal opinion.
 
-See also: link:http://www.apache.org/foundation/how-it-works.html#management[How Apache Works]
+See also: link:http://www.apache.org/foundation/how-it-works.html#management[How Apache Works].
 
 == Incubator Project Management Committee (IPMC)
 The Incubator PMC [link:https://whimsy.apache.org/board/minutes/Incubator.html#minutes_2002_10_16[resolution]] is responsible for:
 
-* acceptance and oversight of candidate projects submitted or proposed to become part of the Foundation;
-* providing guidance and ensuring that podlings under its purview develop products according to the Foundation's philosophy and guidelines for collaborative development;
-* providing a repository for the storage of incubation history and information;
-* assisting a Podling's Mentor in discharging her/his duties;
+* acceptance and oversight of candidate projects submitted or proposed to become part of the Foundation
+* providing guidance and ensuring that podlings under its purview develop products according to the Foundation's philosophy and guidelines for collaborative development
+* providing a repository for storage of incubation history and information
+* assisting a Podling's Mentor in discharging her/his duties
 * regularly evaluating projects under its purview for the purposes of recommending to the Sponsor whether the project should:
-** graduate from incubation;
-** continue to receive guidance and support within the Incubator; or
-** be terminated.
+** graduate from incubation
+** continue to receive guidance and support within the Incubator
+** be terminated
 
-To enable effective management of the process of incubation, described below, is the roles and responsibilities of all participants throughout the incubation lifecycle.
+To enable effective management of the process of incubation, described below, is the role and responsibility of all participants throughout the incubation lifecycle.
 
-A project going through the Incubator will be required to report to the Incubator PMC regularly. This will help the IPMC in its role of reviewing the status of a project under incubation.
+A project going through the Incubator must report to the IPMC regularly. This helps the IPMC in its role of reviewing the status of a projects under incubation.

Review comment:
       remove the "a" in "a projects under"

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File path: pages/guides/roles_and_responsibilities.ad
##########
@@ -7,134 +7,135 @@ Apache Incubator PMC
 :toc:
 :imagesdir: ../images/
 
-This document describes the roles (including Sponsor, Contributor, Mentor) and provides an overview of the responsibilities of the different parties involved in the incubation process.
+This document describes the roles (including Sponsor, Contributor, Mentor) of the parties involved in the incubation process, and provides an overview of their responsibilities.
 
 == The Board
 
 The link:http://www.apache.org/foundation/board/[Board Of Directors] of the link:http://www.apache.org/foundation/[Apache Software Foundation] manages the organizational affairs of the Foundation.
 
-The board is elected by the link:http://www.apache.org/foundation/members.html[Apache Members].
+link:http://www.apache.org/foundation/members.html[Apache Members] elect the Board.
 
-The Board delegates responsibility for incubation to the link:#Incubator+Project+Management+Committee+%28PMC%29[IPMC].
+The Board delegates responsibility for incubation to the link:#Incubator+Project+Management+Committee+%28PMC%29[Incubator Project Management Committee (IPMC)].
 
-link:http://www.apache.org/foundation/board/[Directors] are sometimes active in the Incubator. link:http://www.apache.org/foundation/how-it-works.html#hats[Conventionally], unless indicated otherwise, individuals speak personally. So, a Director speaking without their Board hat is not stating policy but expressing a personal opinion.
+Apache link:http://www.apache.org/foundation/board/[Directors] are sometimes active in the Incubator. link:http://www.apache.org/foundation/how-it-works.html#hats[Conventionally], unless indicated otherwise, individuals speak personally. So, a Director speaking without their Board hat on is not stating policy but expressing a personal opinion.
 
-See also: link:http://www.apache.org/foundation/how-it-works.html#management[How Apache Works]
+See also: link:http://www.apache.org/foundation/how-it-works.html#management[How Apache Works].
 
 == Incubator Project Management Committee (IPMC)
 The Incubator PMC [link:https://whimsy.apache.org/board/minutes/Incubator.html#minutes_2002_10_16[resolution]] is responsible for:
 
-* acceptance and oversight of candidate projects submitted or proposed to become part of the Foundation;
-* providing guidance and ensuring that podlings under its purview develop products according to the Foundation's philosophy and guidelines for collaborative development;
-* providing a repository for the storage of incubation history and information;
-* assisting a Podling's Mentor in discharging her/his duties;
+* acceptance and oversight of candidate projects submitted or proposed to become part of the Foundation
+* providing guidance and ensuring that podlings under its purview develop products according to the Foundation's philosophy and guidelines for collaborative development
+* providing a repository for storage of incubation history and information
+* assisting a Podling's Mentor in discharging her/his duties
 * regularly evaluating projects under its purview for the purposes of recommending to the Sponsor whether the project should:
-** graduate from incubation;
-** continue to receive guidance and support within the Incubator; or
-** be terminated.
+** graduate from incubation
+** continue to receive guidance and support within the Incubator
+** be terminated
 
-To enable effective management of the process of incubation, described below, is the roles and responsibilities of all participants throughout the incubation lifecycle.
+To enable effective management of the process of incubation, described below, is the role and responsibility of all participants throughout the incubation lifecycle.
 
-A project going through the Incubator will be required to report to the Incubator PMC regularly. This will help the IPMC in its role of reviewing the status of a project under incubation.
+A project going through the Incubator must report to the IPMC regularly. This helps the IPMC in its role of reviewing the status of a projects under incubation.
 
-Finally, the Incubator PMC is the ASF body with the greatest level of expertise, knowledge and experience in the Incubation process. That can be called on by the Mentors or a Podling during (or even after) the incubation process.
+Finally, the IPMC is the ASF body with the greatest level of expertise, knowledge and experience in the Incubation process. Mentors or a Podling can call on the IPMC as a resource during (or even after) the incubation process.
 
 Individuals may be nominated to join the IPMC after a vote which passes. Individuals may choose to bring themselves or others to the attention of the IPMC. Additionally, any Member of the Apache Software Foundation may join the IPMC by request.
 
 Again unless indicated otherwise, individuals speak personally.
 
-See also: link:http://www.apache.org/foundation/how-it-works.html#management[How Apache Works]
+See also: link:http://www.apache.org/foundation/how-it-works.html#management[How Apache Works].
 
 == Chair of the Incubator PMC
 The person appointed by the link:#board[Board] to have primary responsibility for oversight of the Incubator Project, its policies, and policy implementation.
 
 == Candidate
 A Candidate is a project proposed for incubation. A Candidate project needs:
 
-* to have a link:#Champion[Champion]
+* to have a link:#Champion[Champion].
 
-A candidate project may also optionally have:
+A candidate project may also:
 
-* declare an existing Apache Project to become the *Sponsor* rather than the Incubator;
-* specify extra requirements that may be needed during incubation; 
-* provide a summary of relationships with existing or planned Apache projects and products.
+* declare an existing Apache Project as its *Sponsor* rather than the Incubator
+* specify extra requirements that may be needed during incubation 
+* provide a summary of relationships with existing or planned Apache projects and products
 
-Naturally, projects will need more than this in order to graduate from incubation status.
+Naturally, projects need more than this in order to graduate from incubation status.
 
-A candidate project may then be proposed by the Champion for acceptance as an incubating Podling. Approval of a project shall be subject to a vote of the Sponsor. Should the vote pass, the Sponsor will request that the Incubator PMC to accept the Candidate as a Podling under incubation. The Sponsor shall assign several Mentors, who must Incubator PMC members.
+A Champion (see below) may propose their candidate project for acceptance as an incubating Podling. Approval of a project is subject to a vote of the Sponsor. Should the vote pass, the Sponsor requests that the IPMC accept the Candidate as a Podling under incubation. The Sponsor assigns several Mentors, who must be Incubator PMC members.
 
 == Champion
 
-A candidate project shall be sponsored by an link:http://www.apache.org/foundation/index.html[Officer] or link:http://www.apache.org/foundation/members.html[Member] of the Foundation.
-The Champion assists the candidate project on their initial submission. While private conversations are not generally encouraged within the Apache community, this should be allowed for this in order to educate the Candidate about the Apache Way and prepare the project for the questions and issues likely to be raised by the wider community.
+A Chamption is an link:http://www.apache.org/foundation/index.html[Officer] or link:http://www.apache.org/foundation/members.html[Member] of the Foundation who sponsors a candidate project as it applies for Incubation.

Review comment:
       Champion




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